Happy Heart-of-Mine Day?
by PenofOneAnswer712
Summary: Supposedly, he has forgotten something very important, but nobody seems to be very willing to tell him about it! Instead of inviting him in for a reasonable explanation, it seems his friends would rather dance around his questions while almost getting him killed. Why do holidays have to be so difficult?
1. Chapter 1

PoA: Don't eat me alive. I'm just a helpless writer straying into another territory by request! No murdering me, please?

*Silence*

PoA: I see. Well, if that's how you want to play it, I shall unleash the beast!

**-l-**

**Who, What and When Did I Forget?**

**-l-**

"Glooooooooobox!"

He wondered if he had just dozed off again. Probably just ate too much and took a long nap in the woods. As long as he hadn't drunken any plum juice, or gotten captured by pirates, or popped by a buzz rocke-wait… Who did he leave him with last?

"_The teensies."_ Gulping hard he shouted again "Gloooooooooboooo-"

"Now now, what the Sax's all the hullaballoo, Rayman?" A creaking voice piped up.

Rayman saw two long blue nosed creatures rubbing their sore ears, one sitting on the other's shoulders. The uppermost and current 'king' of these strange and magical beings tipped his paper-thin crown to the equally peculiar hero. Though respectful as always, they ‒ like every other 'who's it' and 'what's it' in the Glade of Dreams ‒ could be mischievous little devils. No telling what that glowing light hiding beneath the lower teensie's robe was.

"I'm just looking for my friend." Rayman answered honestly, trying not to reveal that he was actively inching away. A little chuckle of real fear came out, when he saw that distorted smile of impending violence on the temporary king's face.

"Well, say! That's not a face I've seen recently, but you'll stay for a moment anyway, won't you? We've something marvelous for you to see!" A nasally laugh of sinister joy came out as the servant's robe began to glow brighter. Not the red of a rocket, but an eerie, pale bluish white light of solar might.

"O-Oh! Heh-heh. Um, well… thanks, but no thanks! I'm not really up for a round right now. Really… Ok? Guys? Um…" They really didn't seem to be listening, as both kept on sauntering forward. Their pace quickened when they saw his eagerness to keep the distance between them wide. Their increasingly excited giggles of joy and hastened steps soon sent the hero running for the hills.

Charging up nearest path, Rayman mounted one of the last remaining walking shells left from the pirate invasion. Untamed, the bucking case of gunpowder took off, taking the poor hero rocketing up a treacherous path of jagged rocks and slippery slopes. In the distance, he could see the wizardly duo shouting after him, something to the effect of "Take hits! Hits from me, more pantomime's bay! You can't escape hurt for never, Rameeeeen!"

Whatever that meant, the answer was no, no and no! He just wanted to see his friend for some good, clean, non-explosive fun. Too bad the shell had other ideas: Having successfully bucked him off, the crazed powder keg with legs wobbled on in for the kill. The impact made the hero a star over an early night sky. The new view at least confirmed that the transitional monarchy of two would be hard pressed to pursue.

Hoping the long expected landing wouldn't hurt too badly, he took a nap amidst the sea of dancing lums. It would've remained peaceful like this, had one red renegade not interrupted his snoring with an uninvited expedition down his throat. Waking up with a choking gasp, Rayman instinctively swatted at the newly regurgitated light. This act unfortunately turned the frightened ball of red healing, black, which in turn caused it to bite down on the widest target available.

He shook to get the beastie off his nose, but to no avail as he collided with the greenery below. For some odd reason, the twisted lum found the sight of a partially burnt, crumpled mass of limbs funny; reverting back to a red lum, it provided its previous victim with some much needed recovery from his fall.

Back on his feet, like a man on a mission, Rayman took off for the nearest clearing to get his bearings. He found himself a bit farther from Globox's house than expected, but with no further interruptions, he would make it there before the dead of night set in. As it's said, being out in the dead of night tended to fill the night with dead, so perhaps a quickened pace was in order. Yes again, with no further interruptions. Surely, this wouldn't jinx anything.

"RAYMAN!" That was the last thing he heard before a big foot from Bigfoot himself pressed him out like a pancake. No matter, at least he could re-inflate while taking solace in the fact that this hulking behemoth didn't mean him any actual harm.

"Oh gee. Sorry 'bout that, little buddy." The kindly cavemannish man creature said, sincerely believing he was helping when he tried to fan out the flattened hero. Through gibberish and a flapping tongue, Rayman eventually convinced the giant to stop 'helping' long enough to catch his breath. When he could form some fashion of words, he explained the strange events that had led him under Clark's foot.

"Well that sounds awful, little guy, but are you extra sure you heard 'em right? Maybe they just drank too much of something good that made 'em go bad."

Rayman tried to assure the giant that the teensies were solely and sanely out to fry him with large white lasers, but the friendly simpleton wasn't convinced. Not that he knew anything about the Arena. Perhaps given that Clark was just being Clark, and that one as strong as Clark would go all 'Clark' if he _had_ known, this was probably for the best.

"I'd like to help ya, but I've got a big job right now. It's kinda special though, so I can't talk about it." It wasn't like him to keep secrets, but out of respect and thankfulness for no intentional abuse done, Rayman let it go.

Still more than determined to have fun, the limb-free savoir would be darned if some mishaps were going to delay him any longer. So, he mistakenly asked for some immediate assistance, something that involved more positively painful catapulting. It was a gamble, but it beat getting pecked to death by the night of the living, dead cursed chickens of yore.

"Really? I think they give good back scratches, but if you say so." Picking up his smaller friend, the giant did what any true friend would do: Fling him, by request, towards the rising blue moon "Hang on tight!" He warned, albeit too late as the living projectile had already left his bulky hands.

Screaming through the air, figuratively and quite literally, he didn't have the same urge to rest as before. Still, the trip was long, and tomorrow came without much incident; that is to say, no zapping, no biting and no pecking. Now the new day could start in earnest. Even if Globox had been too busy with his few, several, six hundred-or-so-hundred kids, he'd surely be over them by now and ready for a day of lazy fun and adventure!

L

*A little fast-forward later*

L

"I'm sorry, Rayman, but my darling isn't here." And with that, Uglette and the kids had really rained on his parade, especially when the oldest tyke started to show off his 'cool family dance'. Having come all the way here through perils and predicaments galore, he'd have to spend the rest of the day alone once more.

"Now dear, I have a fun-fun-fantastic idea!" The frog-like lady said, delightedly clapping her webbed hands.

Really? Could any idea be _that _fun or fantastic? Unless, she meant…with several hundred kids…all crying for nurture and flies…with hubby far away…that old uncle Rayman had come over just in time to say "NO! Ahh…I-I mean… I have a, really, really, REALLY busy day planned, Uglette! I don't have the time to-"

"Not even to stop by and say hello, dear? After all the trouble…" She cocked her head with a wondering look in her eyes, which suddenly turned really sour, really fast. Now crossing her rubbery arms with huffy indigence, Uglette's never-before-seen temper lit up the sky with a full-on thunderstorm "Are you just a potato with hair, an eggplant with attitude, a bush with a big nose, or is there a man in RAYMAN?"

What little hair he did have was now standing on edge, making him an unwilling conductor for the wrath of an angered whatever-her-species-was and her rumblings. Good thing he'd quit biting his nails when he got scared, otherwise he'd have been a mass of tooth-splintered fingers by now. Shivering like a wet puppy at any rate, he feebly raised a damp hand and answered "All three and yes?"

So… Uglette was not amused, and thus she lit a tuft of his hairy helicopter on fire. Fortunately, it wasn't enough to burn down the whole forest, but it did give him a moment to shut up before she made a real cooked vegetable out of him.

Tugging on his arm, one of the little sister babies whispered fairly loudly "_Mama's super scary sometimes. I think it's cuz you forgot to give someone a heart_."

"Huh? What does she mean? Uglette, did I do something wrong?" Now he tried to sound concerned, and so the storm over his head subsided. Oddly enough, only he had gotten dampened by the downpour, but he guessed that she must've had some good reasons. Unless of course this was actually Globox in disguise using a fairly good girl's voice. The thought wasn't _that_ farfetched.

"Rayman, what did you do three days ago?" She asked, very seriously, almost negating the Globox theory. The guy could be funny, even clever, but only a select few had a tone like that. Only the toughest and most serious of his friends could sound that way; like Polokus ‒ when he's not bubbling on pipes and dreaming ‒ Betilla, Ly, the Magician ‒ sort of, maybe, when he isn't being a Mr. Dark fanboy, or maybe not ‒ and sometimes…

Hold on, off topic. What about three days ago? What was that day? It was…ah! That's right! It was the day, before the day, before yesterday! So, what then? Was there something special about that? Days in the Glade of Dreams all ran together anyway. Sometimes he wondered if they had any seasons besides the fixed environments they lived in. Even so, what did it matter where they lived? Weren't they all just dreams anyway? What was the meaning of their existence? What does it mean to exist? What was the question again?

"RAYMAN!" Okay, that shook him back to reality. Now the crushing pressure that came along with it could stop any second now. He liked hugs, but getting a big one from Globox's wife seemed really out of place. The whole experience was making him see blue; a lot of blue, a lot of frog, a lot of blue frog like "GLOBOX, my fro-fr-friend!"

"Sorry I couldn't come see you. Globox had a special something to do." He put the hero down and welcomed the dog pile greeting of his frog-like kids. The big guy was so lucky, at least until the big ones got big enough to be a big pain in his family of bullfrog-like babies. Well, no buts about it, he still had a great thing going for him.

Then again, what had been so important that he hadn't seen Globox's rubbery gut in days? From the looks of things, he hadn't been shot flat or been under a tree snoozing, but apparently he had had 'something special' to do? Like what? He might've been peppering Murfy's toothpaste again, but he could've at least invited Rayman along for all the fun. Well, whatever he did, he had better not have gone to see Jano for their little deal. Rayman wanted to save their surprise guest star on the Rabbid's show for the season finale (ohh yes, it was going to be a scream).

"So, what's been keeping you?" He finally asked it straight, but the big blue baby just started shaking his head and putting a shushing finger to his lips. What was he scared of this time? Honestly, the only ones here were the kids, Uglette, the two of them, oh and Mr. Livingstone. A telescopic fist later: No more Mr. Livingstone.

"Oh, oooohhh, Uglette? Can I? Can I? Pleeeeease?" Globox begged and hopped around like patient boy trying to hold back a visit to the bushes.

"But dear, he hasn't given his gift yet! Rayman's been naughty and mean for not remembering!" She insisted, closing her eyes and looking away from her begging husband.

Now he was actually starting to feel bad. He didn't know what it was, but even the kids were starting to chide him; pointing at him, they chanted "Rayman doesn't give hearts. Rayman not being nice!" Sure Uglette and Globox chastised them, but it still made him feel like a heel of badly burnt, stale bread.

"Sorry guys, I guess I'll go now." Rayman hung his head and turned to take the walk of shame.

This was when good old Globox finally puffed up and shouted "No, Rayman not mean! Rayman save you and daddy lots of times, and is daddy's best friend! All of you apologize!" True to the father they loved, each of the babies came up and said sorry in unison. Patting the little guys and girls on the head, Rayman laughed as the oldest offered to show his dance again to make him feel better.

"Darling, Rayman didn't mean to be mean. He's just forgetful, not like me. Forgive him for me?" Uglette turned her long frown into a little smile when she saw her husband pout. Lightening up, she hopped on over to pat the hero's blonde tuft comfortingly. Rayman, in turn, was happy again, but still befuddled by what he supposedly had or hadn't done.

"Rayman, do you know what happened the third yesterday ago?" She asked again, still getting a 'no' response. She tried to jog his memory a little, asking the hero to remember back to what everyone else was doing that day.

"Uh, well, I was in the Arena. The teensies were spending a lot of time in Ly's Palace. They shot a buzz rocket at me when I tried to rescue Globox from them. Then I ran into that nasty Admiral, who was getting attacked by Razorwife ‒ something about him 'picking badly' I guess ‒ and then I saw one of your kids giving Tily something that looked like a red lum. And then I remembering seeing Ssssam talking to Bzzit and his mate, but, uh…that's it."

"Wha‒? But, Globox not need to get rescued! Globox make big plans with Grand Minimus!" After blurting this out, Uglette gave him a sharp look of curiosity, making him cover up that big mouth his.

This was starting to get out of hand. It's like everyone was hiding something from him! The teensies, the red lum, Clark, Uglette and now Globox! Well, maybe not the red lum; no, definitely not the lum. So why was everyone else being all secretive? Was it his birthday? No, Betilla always reminded him when it was (though he still can't quite remember it)! And what's all this 'heart' nonsense? Why would he give a heart? He might not even have a heart! He didn't even have ARMS!

"Globox, dearie. I suppose we can give Rayman his second heart." Oh! So Globox had to give him a heart first? Wait, she said 'second heart'. Where was the first, and if what he suspected was true, how could he have given a heart sooner? Was it like a something that you had to give to another someone for some reason? Like some kind of hot potato game, then? Maybe Globox forgot to give him his and so he couldn't play the game right. This meant it was Globox's fault, right? He hoped he wouldn't lose the 'something giving game' just because his friend had goofed up.

"Okay! Rayman!" Globox announced triumphantly, opening his mouth and pulling out a silly colored box "Here's your heart! Happy Heart-of-Mine Day!"

Rayman, though still kind of peeved that he'd been left out of the game, still happily took the box and opened it. Inside the kiddy colored wrapping was…a new scarf? Well, it didn't fit, but it was still cute and all, he guessed. Not really wanting make anyone sad or mad, he thanked Globox for the 'super cool' gift.

"No, no, no! Not mine! Globox not get you that!" Eh? Say what? So, who was the gift from then? After asking outright, the only answer he received was "It's a secret heart, from your secret vampire!"

"Oh dear, you have a secret _admirer_." Uglette correctively congratulated Rayman, and not a moment too soon.

So instead of a blood sucking two-legged cousin of Moskito, it was someone who admired him? So, not to be an ego with a snide sunny side of pride, but that pretty much included the whole wide weave of the Glade of Dreams, didn't it? Really, 'who _wouldn't_ it be' would have been a better question, yes? And how was this scarf thingy a 'heart' anyway? This game was starting to get weirder by the second.

"Now you have one heart." Globox said before clapping and pointing over to his wife with excitement "See? See the pretty bow? Globox made that himself! It's my heart for my darling Uglette!" She blushed sweetly and showed off a surprisingly well-crafted bow of plum violet.

Ah, so it was a gift… called a heart? That didn't make a lot of sense. Sure it was cute and all and he really had no idea that Globox could sew, but so what? What'd this have to do with him? The scarf was alright, but a little tight, but somehow he needed it to play the game? Did this mean he had to make something for a friend of his? Like what? This was already starting to sound like a chore.

"Rayman not remember to give a heart. That's okay though! Globox will help! Globox help you find someone to give a heart to! Better a late start than no heart!" He was happy about it ‒ a little _too_ happy ‒ and it didn't make a lot of sense.

Rayman, being the simple guy he was, just shrugged widely and asked "But why? I mean, do I have to?" He wasn't trying to be mean, but having to give gifts because it just so happened to be some random day was just silly. When his birthday came up, he just liked hanging out with friends, eating too many berries and fruits and sleeping. It was the same as any other day, basically. Sure yeah, he got Globox that shirt that looked like his for his birthday, but that's because he wanted to. This whole 'Heart-of-Mine Day' deal was beginning to smell like serious red robot rum to him.

Globox scratched his head over original the question and thought, really, really hard about it. Eventually, he came up with an explanation of sorts "Well, no, I guess you don't have to give a heart. When someone's nice to you, you don't have to be nice back, bu-but we like to be nice to the people we like, right? Someone was being nice when they gave you that puffy scarf, right? Don't you feel like being nice back, or isn't there someone else you'd like to be nice to?"

"Yeah I mean, sure, I guess. I don't know." Rayman's floating hand scratched his head in puzzlement "But Globox, I don't have anything for you today. I'm sorry but-"

Once again, Globox shook his head and waved his hands "Not like Globox. Someone you like sort of different. Like how Globox like Uglette, or like how a mama Globox like a baby Globox."

Just then, even with that bit of a gender mix-up, a little light bulb flickered on inside of Rayman's head as he snapped his fingers and announced "Oh, I get it! Like someone you love, or really, REALLY like, right? Like family or better?" Both parents nodded while their little girl again whispered audibly "_He's not very fast, is he mama?_"

Uglette hushed her child stiffly, and smiled back at Rayman "Yes, Rayman dear, just like that." Sighing a little bit and pausing, she looked to be wiping away a little tear as she said "It's just so sad when someone puts their heart into being nice, only to be rejected."

Rejected? Who? Did she mean that _he_ had rejected someone's gift? B-But the scarf! He just received it! How could he have known about the gift when it was being digested in his best friend's stomach? And he didn't reject it, see? He was wearing it! So, what did he do wrong?

"RAYYYYMAAAN!"

Oh no…no, no, no, no, no, NO! They'd found him. He didn't know how, but they'd found him.

"RUN FOR IT, GLOBOOOOX!"

-l-

To be continued

-l-

In the chapter I'm uploading a second from now! Sorry! I didn't feel like fitting 6K+ words into one chapter!

Until two seconds from now!


	2. Chapter 2

PoA: What is this monster I have created? Even in word lasagna THIS layered, evil is still evil (my apologies. Too much 'Don't Starve' of late).

**-l-**

**Where, Why and How can this be Heart-of-Mine Day Now?**

**-l-**

He didn't get far. Having chosen to not risk the open plains, he instead opted to use the downed Mr. Livingstone as a live shield. Their approach was swift and ruthless; the tired out team of regal killers jogged on up the trail with their blue light of death shining as an omen. Horrifyingly, they shot the dizzy punching bag out of their away without mercy. Now he was left exposed, unprotected from the burning light they would soon unleash upon him.

"Rayman! You invited that stinky, crabby Mr. Livingstone over to exchange hearts, but not us?" Wow sure, blame him! Crabby though he was, at least Mr. Livingstone wasn't trying to barbecue him with rays of doom.

"Rayman, we're trying to give you something! Goodness, if only your mind was a little less disconnected from your heart." They groaned, and the king hopped off of his servant's shoulders. The slave teensie then grabbed the crown and bestowed the evil 'present' upon Globox instead, saying "We, the king of teensies, will no longer be responsible for this wild electoon chase!"

Seeing that Globox now held the power in his webbed hands, the hero pleaded and begged to not be toasted by a tri burst of ray bullets. Confused by this, each creature looked at each other and began laughing coldly at his helpless terror. Could they not see the trauma, the pain, the nausea they were inflicting upon his brain? Of course they could. So much for this 'hearts' day or whatever they called it. No monsters of the Arena had any hearts to give.

"Rayman, be reasonable." The latest king implored, trying hard not to bust out into another fit of nasally laughter "We're far from the grounds of the Arena, so the rules don't even apply."

"First. Rule. Of. Arena." Rayman sputtered out mechanically, now fixed in the fetal position "There. 'Arr'. No. Rules."

"And secondly," The king ignored him; now almost a little annoyed as he recalled the incident Rayman was referring to "We couldn't let you see and spoil the surprise! That rocket was nowhere near you when we set it off!"

His helicopter blades of fine blonde beauty said otherwise, but there they went with that 'surprise' thing again! So now that we've gotten 'Mine-Heart's' day out of the way, what was this surprise everyone was keeping from him? Come on, did he literally have to march up to Polokus himself and ask? No, that guy loved his secrets! He and that ghoulish nightmare of his too!

"For the love of Ly! What are you all hiding from me?" He finally snapped.

This particular choice of words set off an interesting chain of short-lived events. First the new king started fencing his current servant with his jagged crown, angrily gibbering "It was you, wasn't it? You leaked the kingdom's secrets, you vile traitor! You're unworthy to bear the proud blue nose!" Secondly, Globox and Uglette got into a spat over what he had or hadn't shown to Rayman and why he hadn't told HER sooner. Globox accidentally defended himself by first swallowing the silver light, then saying that she didn't have to know everything about everything he stored in his gut every hour of every day ‒ naturally, this led to another, now Globox-centered, torrential rainstorm. Lastly, the dazed Mr. Livingstone tried to interject, but ended up getting clocked over the head the outstretched arm of the newly arrived Clark.

"Rayman! Come quick, come quick! I'm finished! It's all set up, little buddy!" His enormous grin and loud voice silenced everyone's fighting, replacing the mood with an overwhelming sense of joy.

Rayman, still the most confused of all, was totally lost even before the strange entourage picked him up and started to carry him back the way he came. All this and more happened in the seconds it took Clark to proclaim "It's time, everybody!"

The world seemed to wake up at the giant's titanic cry. Soon, they were passing by the shouts and cheers of friends that Rayman didn't even know he had. He really didn't understand the context of their celebration. It was even more haywire than when he'd restored the Primordial Core, which really was the only thing worth making this big a deal out of. Yet still, the cheering could be heard amidst the distant orchestra of Band Land. It's grandly crazed symphony could he heard stretching all the way from a path leading through the lush innards of the Dream Forest's Pink Plant Woods, to the stagnant Bayou in the Marshes of Awakening, finally down into the depths of the Blue Mountains' Twilight Gulch. Indeed, it was enough to shake the entire world.

Amidst this sea of sure insanity, Rayman finally saw a face of reason and understanding flutter up to his side. Almost panicked by the widespread commotion, he didn't hesitate to ask "Betilla, what's going on? Why's everyone going off like firecrackers? Is this some kind of evil plum juice curse of Andre's?" Briefly recalling the red lum incident, he almost freaked out until he saw the motherly nymph's smile.

"No, Rayman, everyone's just a little excited. It's not every day that the Glade of Dreams gets to celebrate two special heroes in perfect harmony." She grinned and kissed her child's head with a proud gleam in her eyes "You're such a lucky boy! And I see you liked the scarf I made for you."

"Oh-ohh… So, you made this?" Good thing he had learned a tiny bit about acting early into his warped television career, or else he might've landed in even more trouble. A quick word of thanks and a goofy boyish smile later was all it took to keep her well pleased. Strangely, he found himself wishing Globox had tailored garment instead.

At last the group of chanting, clamoring, and widespread joyful calamity came to an end at the entrance to a familiar neck of the woods. Having been ushered through the entrance, there was a rush of tension inside the folds and vines of the famous Woods of Light. It was a heavenly little place, if only for the fact that local Stones of Thought filled one's mind with the kind voice of Ly the wild fairy, instead of the raspy griping of the sidekick-embittered greenbottle called Murfy.

Touching one of these brown squares, Rayman shut his eyes to listen to some serene advice and insight as to what was going on.

"Rayman…" The voice said, oh so calmly, but with a noticeable squeak of adolescence. No, more like a falsetto. Yeah, like a really, high, nosy, grating little bug called… "Rayman my DARLIN', won't ya come give little ol' Ly your heart on a silver lum platter? Huh? HUHH? Bwahaha!"

Ugh, that snorting little sack of mucus. Well, okay, he had to hand it to Murfy; that was a pretty smooth initial impression. Upset, but slightly amused, Rayman asked the witty, one-line wonder about the strange day he'd been having. Murfy wasn't one to take anything too seriously, but he did show Rayman the way over to a small grove near the eastern edge of the forest. He said that there he would find his heart's desire, the irony being that he, a 'heart'less jerk, gets a heart along with all the confetti'. How kind the snarky Murfy could be. It seems he had another meal for Jano after the monster was finished with the Rabbids.

Well here he was, anyway. A secret garden grove of meditation fit for any fairy. There, in a still bath of warm light stood a dear and old friend, hopping up and down whilst singing its goose song.

"Aw, it's the deny I found in the Fairy Glade prison!" Rayman happily acknowledged the same, cute little cross-eyed minisaurus child he found some time ago.

Not who he really expected, but it seemed to recognize him. It then began to sort out its countless cascades of philosophical conundrums. Such a smart little guy or girl (he never checked) for their age! Was this the one that had a heart gift for him? If so, well, then this was going to be more trouble than fun. Rayman was pretty crummy with conversations of rarefied content and complexity, while this little one's species practically wrote the book on them.

"Well that and I can't understand a word its saying!" That fact sort of came back to him a few quills short of a hedgehog later. Slapping his mostly a nose worth of a face, he simply pet the wise creature who graciously accepted the humble peasant's offering.

Well that was a rightly off ending compared to the far left-of-center events going on outside. He supposed that every deny had its day, and that that day just so happened to be today. Of course, had he been the perceptive sort of hero, he might've noticed the sagely minisaurus eagerly pointing with its beak-like mouth towards a dark figure shuffling near the garden entrance.

No sooner did he ignore this warning, than did the hapless hero find himself eating and breathing a mouth and nose full of purple tail hair. Slapped on his back with his face in the grass, he turned and saw her shaky green lips and eyes all swirly with terror. Weird too, since he couldn't remember the last time he had seen her so spooked out of her mind, or was this some new kind of meditation?

"Uh… Hi, Ly!" While attempting to get her attention, he tried very hard not to laugh at her currently frazzled purple-blue hairdo.

Creepily, her wild eyes darted over to him in a flash, her white teeth grinding in agitation. It seemed to take a second for her realize who he was, as her eyes soon refocused and pupils shrank down to a less maniacal size. He hadn't noticed before, but as she composed herself, six fingers and two thumbs worth of long sharp nails retracted silently back into the small holes of her Phryic outfit. Pretending a calm but comically false sense of composure, she floated elegantly back to the ground.

This was the last straw: Seeing her serious eyes overlapped by those messy curls of hair sent Rayman to the ground, writhing in agonizingly rude laughter. Ly, in irate response, glared at the plum-drunk punk hero, furiously unleashing a sobering blast of lum enriched punishment upon him.

Still sizzling on the ground, his right blackened hand came up as he wheezed out "Nice to see you too."

Sighing after taking a minute to fix her wacky appearance, she overlapped her hands and whispered "Rise, Rayman."

Swirls of a magical breeze took all the pain of becoming a festive honey lum roast away. On his feet once more, Rayman once again scratched his own yellow palm fronds, looking a little sheepish "So yeah, sorry about that. You're just usually so pretty and a lot less catty and crazy."

Trying oh so hard just to take the compliment, Ly's lids merely twitched as she squeezed out a smile "Rayman, so you came after all. I…almost regret the overly lively invitation. I hope your friends weren't too poor in carrying out my wishes."

"Oh, you mean the parade outside?" Rayman wondered if she had planned this all along, just for him. Now feeling kind of embarrassed, he kicked the dirt shyly "Aww, you mean you did all that for me? Oh man, I-I don't know what to say!"

"Don't." She spoke rather stiffly, remembering the keyboards, the accordions, and the drums, the trumpets, and the drums, the…drums… "I was not responsible for that…noise." Her tail fur stood up as passing recollection rippled through her nerves. Struggling to forget the mentally rupturing incident, she changed the subject "Tell me, Rayman, did you like your gift? Your real gift, I mean?"

Uh-oh, so no band, not the scarf, so then what was she talking about? Stop, rewind, eject. Hmm…nope, still nothing. Not a single something came. Sure he was forgetful, at times, now and again, or most of the time, but not when there wasn't anything to forget; or did he somehow forget that too? No, nope, not this time. He was absolutely sure. At least, he thought so.

Getting a little closer and no longer floating with dainty fairy-otypical mannerisms, the nervous feline swished her tail in grumpy realization "You know, the gift I thought told a certain KING to give to a certain someone as soon as the Arena match was over? The one I also told a big blue FROG to tell his best friend about?"

"Globox not frog! Nothing frog about Globo-" It didn't take him very long to figure out that he had given himself and rest of the potential spies away.

Tapping her foot with patient displeasure, Ly waited for the blue oaf to check himself amidst the combined sighs and groans of his now visible friends. To his credit ‒ and before the Grand Minimus could try to deflect the blame ‒ the good-hearted Globox blissfully and ignorantly accepted responsibility when he proclaimed "Gift? Oh, Globox forget that!"

Opening his mouth, he pulled out the same light that had had Rayman running scared since the night before: A beautiful silver lum, whose small, unseen eyes rolled at the sight of Rayman ‒ who, in turn, had finally accepted that it wasn't out to subject him to solar incineration (even if the idea now sounded tasty to the waiting lum). Thus, absorbing the lum's amazing strength at last, Rayman obtained the power to use his arms and hair together to activate a double-helicopter technique. Not only was it faster, but it gave him an extra lift upon using it mid-jump.

With an excited shout of 'Yahoo!' the playful limbless hero couldn't wait to test it out. Ly, happily expecting this, revealed the second part of her gift. Taking him out of the garden, she led him over to a secret back entrance to her palace. It had recently been renovated to support a slippery and crystalline blue race track with added chasms for jumps that none of his friends ‒ or formerly he for that matter ‒ could hope to make even if they hovered.

"I had Clark carve this out." At this, she motioned a thank you wave to the giant, who wore a squinting grin over his heavy chin "It's a personal challenge race that only you and I can use."

She happily watched as the elated Rayman went around performing cartwheels and spinning about with joy. After ten minutes of making a clownish, unruly, foolhardy balloon head of himself, he calmed down and gave the fairy wide toothy smirk "It's great, Ly! Come on, let's race! Let's-ohh…shoot. Ah, man…"

Now it came to him; this was the big gift everyone was talking about. It's just his dumb luck that it would be Ly. Globox would settle for anything, but this was… Wow, what a really crummy bummer.

After a minute, he stopped sagging his banana-laden head, and tried to be nice about it "I'm sorry, Ly! I didn't know what was going on, so I-I don't really have anything for you." Sniffling like a silly baby, two little waterfalls of tears suddenly sprayed from the sides of his eyes as he kept on "Waah! I'm such big jerk! Please forgive me!"

Softly chuckling, Ly comfortingly patted him on what little of back he had "Oh, Rayman, you don't have anything to prove to anyone. We all know how much you care!" Kissing his oversized nose, he was just starting to perk up as she finished with a devious tone "Besides, I just wanted to prove that, no matter what powers you have, not even the great Rayman can outrun me!"

Rayman quickly dried up the waterworks in understanding. Both now wore wildly devilish grins, as each was ready to burst with competitive pride. First though, they had to endure the rowdy shouts of their less than respectful concert of friends nearby.

While both smiled, each realized that they had been accidentally holding hands for some time. As they released their mutually instinctive grasp promptly, Globox knowingly nudged Clark, who knowingly nudged the king, who knowingly nudged his servant, who angrily stole the crown and smacked him with it.

Meanwhile, not very far away, a figure cloaked in the vines of darkness crept forth; eager to exact his vengeance upon the foolish heroes, who had mistreated and ostracized him for merely aiding in the capture of helpless electoons. Bitter of soul and surging with swampy wrath, the lone, ingrown toenail of a drone, called Mr. Livingstone, reached for his prey with a zombified moan.

Bashing into the hero from behind, Rayman fell towards the arms of Ly, who quickly let him fall to ground. Seeing the ugly explorer ‒ who was now deeply regretting the timing of his vengeance ‒ that had back smacked her friend, Ly's claws reemerged as she pounced with a deafening screech.

Watching the brutal fray unfold in startled reverence, Tily came up and asked Globox "Is that why they replaced her with me?"

He could only blink and nod slowly, as the chaotic carnage continued indefinitely.

-l-

The End

-l-

My request is finished, and so is my sanity. XD No, I'm only kidding, but this was a really odd thing to write for a late Valentine's Day request. Never tried my hand at anything Rayman before, but who knows? I hope it was somehow bizarrely likeable anyway :)

Until next time!


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